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National Day of Mourning

This monument stands on Cole’s Hill in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Cole’s Hill overlooks Plymouth Rock and the waterfront. Every Thanksgiving since 1970, Native people and supporters gather at 12 noon on Cole’s Hill for a “Day of Mourning”. This is a solemn day in mourning of their ancestors, the genocide of their people and the theft of their lands.

National Day of Mourning monument, Plymouth, MA

 

Plaque reads; “Since 1970, Native Americans have gathered at noon on Cole’s Hill in Plymouth to commemorate a National Day of Mourning on the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday. Many Native Americans do not celebrate the arrival of Pilgrims and other European settlers. To them, Thanksgiving Day is a reminder of the genocide of millions of their people, the theft of their lands, and the relentless assault on their culture. Participants in the National Day of Mourning honor Native ancestors and the struggles of Native people to survive today. It is a day of remembrance and spiritual connection as well as a protest of the racism and oppression which Native Americans continue to experience.”

Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and celebrate all the things we have to be thankful for, but I think it’s also important to remember the true history of Thanksgiving.

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Local Community Society | cindy | | 2 Comments |   Cole's Hill Massachusetts National Day of Mourning Plymouth Thanksgiving

Blind-sided

Parents of kids with disabilities deal with a chronic grief that never goes away. In the beginning, it is an intense grief similar to the stages following the death of a loved one, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance. We are grieving the loss of the “normal” child that might have been. But the child is still with us, so the cycle of grief never ends. Transitions in the child’s life often get the grieving cycle started again. For example, when the child starts school, has a birthday, goes to their first dance, a graduation; or worse, the child may miss out on these typical transitions.

Thankfully, the intensity of these emotions tend to fade over time and we eventually learn to cope. But the grief is always there and sometimes you just never know when it will raise it’s ugly head. Sometimes the grief can hit you when you least expect it. My life is good, my family and I are healthy and happy. I’m able to care for my boys, I’m coping well and I’m content and happy. Some people wonder how I manage to stay so positive with three children who all have special needs. For the most part I’m it that acceptance stage; after all, I’ve had 15 years to work on these issues.

Some parents of children with disabilities describe life as a roller coaster ride. Others say it’s more like bumper cars, you never know when something will sneak up on you from behind and hit you like a ton of bricks. I did feel like I was on a roller coaster when the boys were young. Things moved so fast, too fast. I could barely catch my breath. I had no control over the direction my life was heading and no way to get off the ride. But now, I think the bumper car analogy is better. You merrily drive along, minding your own business, when apparently out of nowhere, something hits you from behind. That is what happened to me today.

I was checking my morning email and I got a notice from JibJab that the new “Elf Yourself” script was out. If you’ve never heard of Elf Yourself, it’s a popular seasonal ad from OfficeMax where you can turn your family and friends into elves by sticking heads on elf bodies. It’s just silly Internet fun that I find hard to resist. This year you can make Disco Elves, and being a 70’s girl, I decided to have Rich dancing with the twins. I happily spent too much time choosing photos, cropping and fitting heads into the elf costumes. It wasn’t until I played my finished project that I got hit from behind. The overwhelming sadness of seeing Eric dancing around and looking exactly like is twin brother just made my heart sink. The boys were dancing around with their dad, just like it should have been…

So, the grieving cycle starts again. You don’t necessarily go through every stage and the emotions are in no particular order. I’m not in denial and there is no one to bargain with, so right now, I’m somewhere between anger and depression. But don’t worry; I’ll work back toward acceptance. I’m a veteran and I know this hit won’t keep me down for long!

Oh, and Happy Holidays!

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Goodbye Denise

You will be missed.

Denise, Tom, Nancy and Cindy 1984

 

Obituary from the Worcester T&G

Woodbury, Denise M. “Dee” (Cormier)

Denise M. “Dee” (Cormier) Woodbury, 48, of Upton, died Friday, Oct. 24, 2008 in Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston after a three year battle with leukemia. She was the wife of Robert W. Woodbury, Jr.

Mrs. Woodbury was born in Waltham, the daughter of Alban J. Cormier of Milford and the late Florine M. (Arsenault) Cormier. She was a 1978 graduate of Waltham High School and attended Bentley College. She had lived in Upton since 1992, where she was very active in the community. She was a communicant of Holy Angels Parish, treasurer of Broadway Youth Dance Theater in Upton, and a member of Pleasant Valley Country Club.

In addition to her husband and father, she leaves two children, Ashley E. and Daniel R. Woodbury, both of Upton; two brothers, Ronald J. Cormier and his wife Marion of Northbridge and Richard J. Cormier and his wife Nancy of Wayland; a sister, Nancy M. Treem and her husband Gerard of Upton; and several nieces and nephews.

Funeral services will be held Tuesday, October 28, from the Williams-Pedersen Funeral Home, 45 Main St., Upton, with a funeral mass at 10 a.m. in Holy Angels Church, Milford St., Upton. Following cremation, burial will be in Lakeview Cemetery, Upton.

Calling hours at the funeral home are Monday from 4 to 8 p.m.

Memorial donations may be made to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, 44 Binney Street, Boston, MA 02115.

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Family and Friends | cindy | | Leave a comment |   Denise Woodbury Leukemia obituary

Bissell Adventure

We got free dinner and ballet tickets from the Starlight Children’s Foundation. Unfortunately, Rich’s schedule changed and he had to work the weekend. So I decided to take the twins by myself. They both love the ballet. I left Anthony at home with my mom, because he is too loud at a ballet and can’t sit still that long (been there, done that). Eric, well you never know how he will do, sometimes he does great, sometimes not… I really didn’t feel like going, but hey, it was free, the boys wanted to go and Starlight was expecting us. So, in order to get the ballet tickets, you have to go to the dinner. We were to meet at the Hyatt Regency Hotel (nice!) between 4:45 and 5:00pm. I left my house at 3:15 to give us plenty of time.

Here’s what went wrong…

First, I took a wrong turn getting into Boston, even with my co-pilot Christine (Our GPS; Aaron named it after the movie “Christine”). Any of you who have driven in Boston know how bad it is to make a wrong turn. This city is not set up like a modern city. They made the roads from old cow paths from colonial days, so there are one way streets everywhere and nothing makes sense. Anyway, Christine “recalculates” and starts bringing us around and around in circles! I’ve discovered the hard way that the GPS stinks in the city with tightly packed streets and tall buildings.

After going around in circles for an hour or so, we finally stumble upon the hotel. We were told to park in the garage, but the garage is 6″6′ feet high and my van is like 8.5″! So, I drive around the hotel, no place to park and no valet. We drive around and around again. By this time, I’m ready to turn around and go home. The kids are hungry and the dinner has already started. But the kids were really looking forward to the ballet, especially Eric who love Cinderella. It would be very tough to explain to him why we were going home without seeing Cinderella, Ugggg.

I found a different parking garage that looked tall enough for the van, so I pulled in. I barely slipped under the 8″8′ sign, but once I got inside, the garage dipped to 6″8′! I said screw it and parked along the side, got the kids out and found an attendant who said it would be OK to leave the van there. Nice guy, I think he felt sorry for me. I was so frazzled after driving around Boston for an hour.

So, it is two blocks to the hotel and we get there and there are stairs! I had to go around to another door and the doorman had to go find a key for this little stair lift closet. I had to leave Eric in this closet, while the guy locked him in. Aaron and I went down stairs to meet him. Luckily, Eric was happy when he got off the lift. Like I said, you never know with him.

Now it’s 6pm and we are an hour late for the dinner. Aaron’s anxiety is kicking in, since he knows the letter said, you MUST arrive on time! At this point I didn’t really care since I knew the show was at 7pm and what were they going to do, send us home? It was embarrassing arriving so late. But they fed us anyway.

Now, the plan is to walk over to the Wang Theater, which is seven blocks away on Boston’s cobble stone sidewalks! Eric enjoyed the bumpy ride, but I was tired by the time we got to the theater. Now, my anxiety kicks in since Eric is not too sure he wants to be there with all these people. But, we managed to get through most of the show. Eric was a bit loud a couple of times, but not too bad. I sat in a seat behind him and Aaron found a good seat further forward, so Eric actually did a bit better without being able to see me.

The play went a bit too long, if you ask me, but Aaron was loving it. I could tell that Eric was getting tired, and also, he wasn’t happy that the music was not Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, or even Disney. He would have liked it much more if he knew the music. But other than pumpkins, it was really hard to tell we were watching Cinderella. Anyway, there were only a few minutes left when Eric decided he had had enough and started making a big scene. I unlocked his chair and started moving him out of the theater, when I realized my purse was somewhere on the floor in the dark. I reached down to find it and Eric’s chair started rolling away! I forgot that there was a ramp to get him to his seat and I couldn’t see it in the dark. OMGosh, he rolled all the way down the isle and into the sound booth. What a scene! I was so embarrassed. Luckily, Eric was fine. Not sure if there was any damage, I didn’t stop to find out. I got out of there as fast as I could!

Than I had to leave Eric in the lobby to go in and tell Aaron where I was (this time his wheels were locked)! Still, I didn’t want to leave him, even for a minute, but remember Aaron has an anxiety disorder.

Well, the show ended in just a few minutes, too bad Eric couldn’t have lasted a couple more minutes, oh well.

As I was waiting for Aaron to come out of the theater, some lady shows me a camera and said, “is this yours?” Yup, sure was! I have no idea where she found it or how she found it in the dark, but I was thankful. I think I’m losing my mind sometimes…

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. As we were rushing back to the van, I hit one of the cobble stones the wrong way and the tire came off one of the front wheels of Eric’s chair, so I couldn’t push him without tilting the chair back, which wasn’t easy, since he has those “anti-tilt” thingies on the back of his chair. Luckily, we were almost to the garage when the tire came off.

Then, of course, someone parked next to me in the garage, so I couldn’t put the lift down. I had to move the van, just to get Eric in. Now a new problem. I can’t get out of the garage without going up to the lobby to pay for parking and get my ticket validated. I can’t push Eric, so I had to leave the boys in this underground garage at 11:00 at night in Chinatown! Aaron did fine though, he was very brave and locked himself and his brother in the van while I went to pay for parking (parking was supposed to be free from Starlight, but it cost me $20.00).

As we were leaving Boston, I noticed that I was almost out of gas, but I took a chance and got onto the MassPike.

OK, Now for what went right…

The dinner was excellent and Eric did very well in the restaurant, even though there were lots of kids there, which can set him off. He did great and he eat all of his dinner (that’s progress!).

Aaron loved the show and he got to see the whole thing. Eric liked most of it and did fairly well. It was just a bit too long for him. Plus, he had to poop… I think that’s why he acted up at the end. Fair enough.

We made it home without running out of gas, not sure if I’ll make it to a gas station though!

I was able to fix the wheel on the wheelchair when we got home.

I kept the boys home from school today and we all enjoyed sleeping in.

So, all things considered, just another fun Bissell adventure.

Below are a few photos, thanks for the nice lady who found my camera. Thanks also to Starlight!

Aaron at Dinner

 

Aaron in his element; he loves fancy restaurants and going to the ballet.

Cindy and Eric

 

Twins at the Wang (see the devil in Eric’s eyes?)
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Aaron Eric Family and Friends | cindy | | 5 Comments |   ballet bissell Boston handicap access Starlight Wang